When there are two careers in a relationship (with at least one expat)…
Something has to give.
I married a private banker in Hong Kong.
Every year, my USA-based employer suggested an international relocation.
To get promoted, I would need to leave Hong Kong.
I declined every offer.
Moving as a couple would end of my wife’s career.
Moving by myself would strain the relationship.
There are two ways to work internationally:
A. “Expat” assignments for a short time (e.g., 3-5 years), or
B. “Local talent” that builds deep roots and stay indefinitely.
When a short-term “expat” marries “local talent”, the clock is ticking.
One of three things MUST happen:
1. The expat needs to “go local” and the couple stays put.
2. The couple relocates for the expat’s next assignment and the “local talent” abandons his/her local clients, licenses, connections, and support network.
3. Only one person relocates and they keep their separate expat & local careers.
Sometimes there aren’t many local options for an expat after an overseas assignment. Hong Kong changed. A million people protested. Departing expats were not replaced with new ones. Chinese language skills became mandatory for most roles in my field.
I joined the Hong Kong startup community.
I co-led one startup and won several pitch competitions, getting us a giant novelty check for $40k USD grand prize.
I helped a blockchain startup pivot to launch Hong Kong’s first digital securities (a tokenized Cayman fund structure investing in UK commodities).
These were great experiences that made me a more capable “hands on” leader.
Not all careers have simple linear progressions that go steadily up and to the right.
When you see two careers on the same graph… The story becomes much more clear.
The most important parts of the story also come into focus.