Crazy Train as a Service

Remember the early days of BaaS?

Regulators stopped that crazy train before too many banks went off the rails. (A few did.)

Fintechs promised “turnkey” partnerships. Banks would (supposedly) collect Net Interest Margin, provide payment rails, and cover deposits with FDIC insurance. The Fintech would handle the rest.

Regulators NEVER agreed that banks could lend their charters to third party tech firms in that way.

It is the bank (not the partner) that has the charter, the regulated products, the compliance obligations, and the regulatory oversight.

Whatever services are provided by tech partners… They must be subject to the bank’s policies, procedures, governance and oversight.

After discussing the old days with some good folks… I was inspired to prompt another Grok masterpiece… To the tune of Crazy Train by Ozzy.

———————

TITLE: CRAZY BANK

All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay

Risky, but that’s how it flows

Billions in assets, turning into woes

Maybe it’s not too late

To implement controls

And forget how to crash

Audit trails not sealing

Fines are a bitter claim

We’re going off the rails on a crazy bank

We’re going off the rails on a crazy bank

I’ve listened to traders

I’ve listened to suits

I’ve watched all the startups

Who bend their own rules

One firm conditioned to gamble and roll

The market demands it, and you pay the toll

Compliance wounds still bleeding

Driving boards insane

We’re going off the rails on a crazy bank

We’re going off the rails on a crazy bank

I know that ledgers are going wrong for me

You gotta listen to my words

Yeah

Heirs of a bailout

That’s what we’ve become

Inheriting scandals, we’re financially numb

Risky, we just cannot bear

We’re lending with something that just isn’t square

Oversight wounds not healing

Who and what’s to blame

We’re going off the rails on a crazy bank

We’re going off the rails on a crazy bank

[Instrumental break – imagine shredding guitars over balance sheets]

But hey, let’s turn it around

With governance sound

Keep risks in their lane, don’t let ’em compound

Partner with fintechs, build channels so tight

Efficient processes, everything right

Regulators smiling, compliance on lock

Good tech in the vault, we’re solid as rock

Mental checks now healing

Life’s a stable game

Stay on the rails, ditch the crazy bank

Stay on the rails, ditch the crazy bank

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